Inner Critic or Inner Coach? How to Know Which Voice to Trust
When that critical voice speaks, is it trying to stop you... Or overcome resistance?
In high school, I wasn't great at basketball. I didn't have the skills to play competitively, but I still wanted to be part of the team. So, I became one of the team managers - handing out water, keeping stats, sweeping the court. What I didn't expect was that my time off the court would teach me something I've carried with me ever since.
Our coach had a reputation. He was loud. Demanding. Often sharp with his words. To some players, he sounded angry - like he was constantly criticizing them. A few of them took that intensity as judgment. They shrank under the pressure, and some even walked away. But others heard him differently. They heard not criticism, but conviction. They understood that beneath the bark was belief - that he saw more in them, and refused to let them settle for anything less.
"Same coach. Same tone. But the way each player heard him made all the difference."
The Power of Perception
Same coach. Same tone. But the way each player heard him made all the difference. That experience showed me: the voice that feels critical isn't always here to tear you down. Sometimes, it's trying to call you forward.
That same dynamic plays out inside all of us. Most of us know the voice we call the Inner Critic - the one that questions our worth, second-guesses our decisions, or whispers that we're behind. Sometimes, that voice genuinely is fear speaking. It's trying to keep us safe from failure, rejection, or disappointment. It means well, but it limits us. It wants protection over progress.
Understanding the Different Voices
Not every hard-sounding voice inside comes from fear. There's another voice - your inner coach - and it can sound equally intense. But the intention behind it is completely different. The inner coach challenges you not because you're not enough, but because it sees everything you're capable of becoming. It speaks with urgency, not because you're failing, but because you're ready to stretch. The voice might still feel uncomfortable, but if you listen closely, there's vision in it.
"The inner coach challenges you not because you're not enough, but because it sees everything you're capable of becoming."
The Path to Discernment
The real work isn't about silencing the voice - it's about developing the discernment to know which part of you is speaking. Is this fear trying to keep me small, or is it wisdom calling me higher? Is this voice reacting to past pain, or responding to future possibility? The content of the message might sound similar. But when you pause and tune in to the intention underneath, the difference becomes clear.
Your inner coach doesn't want you to be perfect. It wants you to be present. To show up. To rise. It pushes not to punish, but to prepare you for what's next. And while it may speak with fire, it's fueled by belief. Just like any powerful [story you tell yourself](https://www.pauldfitzgerald.com/story-you-tell-yourself), understanding which voice you're listening to shapes your path forward.
"You're not falling behind. You're being invited forward."
Just like that basketball coach showed me the difference between criticism and conviction, I now help others hear their inner wisdom more clearly. That's why I offer a space where you can explore these voices with guidance and support - a chance to distinguish between the voice of fear and the voice of potential.
If you're confused and want to gain clarity about which voice is speaking to you, I invite you to join me for a Complimentary Next-Level You Discovery Session. Link in my bio.
You're not falling behind. You're being invited forward. And sometimes, the first step is learning to hear the difference between fear... and belief.
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